It seems as though, even in a place where I can allow my creativity to flow, I can't escape my depression. I'm feeling very insecure this week. Its not easy for me to hide my emotions and unfortunately this is a job where the ability to "put on your game face" is required. Twice today I've had co-workers stop and ask if I'm okay. My mom could tell something was up just from the sound of my voice over the phone. This journey is as much about working through my inner landscape as it is about experiencing this place and all it has to offer. Tonight I want nothing more than to snuggle up with my favorite person and fall asleep. That's not an option, and it makes dealing with this sick feeling in my stomach a million times tougher. I keep thinking I should just go to bed, but I'm restless on top of everything else.
I've started a list of ways to bring "Happy Ashley" back. I miss being zany, spontaneous, and delightful. I miss the sparkle!